Commentary

I’m reading through the whole Bible in a year, I’ve been encouraged, inspired, I’ve learned new things, read stories I’ve already read, and of course, read some things that were hard to understand and focus on, but I’m loving it.

Today I was reading Judges 2 and the chapter stood out to me so much, I just had to write about it.

God had brought the Israelites out of Egypt; a land where they were being mistreated, they were slaves, and they were stuck.

Have you ever been in a place that seemed impossible to get out of?  A bad relationship?  A medical crisis?  Trapped in a day that didn’t seem to end? Maybe you feel like that now (and that’s a totally different direction with this that I’m not going to go into today), but lets think back.  What times in your life have you felt that way and seen God restore you, take you out of it, and place you on new ground?  

He gave the Israelites Moses, and through God’s work in Him, He delivered them out.  In a way that blew their minds!  God parted the Red Sea and they walked through it, leaving their enemies and their old lives behind.  Incredible.

God had taken them on a long journey after that.  It’s God, what else can you expect?  He has a mission, and He uses us to carry it out!  He carried the people through, taught them, took care of them, and though there were wars ahead…He delivered them and His promises were true.

The one leading the people at this time was Joshua and his life was coming to an end, but he left the people with a choice to serve.  (Joshua 24) “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and in faithfulness.  Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.”

The people replied, “Far be it from us that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods, for it is the Lord our God who brought us and our fathers up from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, and who did those great signs in our sight and preserved us in all the way that we went, and among all the peoples, through whom we passed.  And the Lord drove out before us all the peoples, the Amorites who lived in the land. Therefore we also will serve the Lord, for he is our God.”

After reading that response, I wrote in my Bible, “Wow!”  That’s the way to be.

But not long after these were God’s words to the people:

“I brought you up from Egypt and brought you into the land that I swore to give to our fathers.  I said, ‘I will never break my covenant with you, and you shall make no covenant with the inhabitants of this land; you shall break down their altars.’  But you have not obeyed my voice.  What is this you have done?”  (Judges 2:1b-2)

What were they thinking?  One minute they were promising they would only serve God and now…
“The people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord,” (Judges 2:11)
“They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. ANd they provoked the Lord to anger.” (Judges 2:12b)
“They soon turned aside from the way in which their fathers had walked, who had obeyed the commandments of the Lord, and they did not do so.” (Judges 2:17b)

As I read the words God had said, I didn’t hear some God way up high, keeping a distance, just angry, saying those words.  I heard my God, my best friend, my King, who has rescued me and restored my life, not just angry, but hurt that He’d been abandoned.

How often have we seen this happen?  I bet right now you can think of someone whose made a promise and broken it.  Who was once faithful and has proved their unfaithfulness.  We’ve seen people stand up in passion, and watched defeat beat them to the ground.

But what about you?  What about me?  We’ve done that too, haven’t we?  Made promises we couldn’t keep, upset a friend, a family member or a spouse, stopped believing and have found ourselves putting other things or other people, before our relationship with God.

It’s good to realize these things with where were at.  It’s even better to not just realize these things, but pick up our cross, and reconcile.  Move forward.

Don’t let what you’ve done keep you away from God; let it move you towards God.

“God, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

The Harvest is Plentiful

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few…” Luke 10:2a

I envision finding this field out in the countryside.  Not sure how I’ve come across it, but I have.  It’s not an actively growing field, or by any means, even set up for growth to occur at this time.  As I’m staring there before this vast, abandoned field, I hear footsteps behind me and see other faces peering through the bushes.  This field is now in their sight, but moments later they turn around and go back the way they’ve came.  Part of me wants to follow, and yet, I am still standing here feeling like I should do something.  The field needs water.  It needs seeds.  It needs to be cleaned up and taken care of.  I bend down and start clearing up the area before me.  As I begin to pour myself into this part of the field, I become burdened.  Burdened to continue and to do what I can.  I definitely can’t walk away now.  I don’t even want to.

Days later after continuing to pour myself into this field, I look up from what I’ve been clearing and it’s as if I just realized how big this field really is.  I sit down in the dirt, tired and drained.  Is it worth it?  What am I really doing?  

I decide to shift my view to what has been cleared and watered.   Making sure I’m seeing things right, I run to the beginning of the field (a couple rows back) to find something budding forth from the ground.  Life.  There’s life growing here now!  Joy floods over my being.  Although only a moment ago, I had this vast view of the field like when I first saw it, I was now seeing a small life beginning to grow and it stirred me to keep going.

I’ve found that as I continue to do it, although it is not for myself, that I am being blessed along the way.  I’m seeing that even though there’s still so much to be done, I can’t do it all; but I can do what is set before me.   I understand that even when it doesn’t look like it, the harvest is plentiful.  There is life to be found if there are laborers willing to find it.

God has placed fields all around us.  He gives us the opportunity to represent Him everyday by how we speak, by what we do, by what we wear, and even by how we react and live out the relationships in our lives.  He can take us places and present us with opportunities to go.

“Seek first His kingdom…”  Matthew 6:33

We have the choice to walk past the fields God brings before us, or to run towards them.  I’ve found that when I’ve fought hard for something for myself, for my dreams, and for my wants, I end up walking away from a field that is plentiful; from a life lived to the fullest.  I’ve been so inspired by Christian men and women in the Bible like Paul, Peter, David, and Esther.  Even women like Amy Carmichael, Corrie and Betsey Ten Boom, and many others.  Even the women and men around me I’ve run into and come to understand their life stories and how God is using them for His kingdom.  I want to live a life poured out for Jesus, don’t you?  I’ve been so excited and encouraged lately seeing how God is using different people, placing them in specific places, and the beauty of each of their gifts and how they are used to harvest His field.  What might be the gifts you have that you can use for Him?  Where has He placed you and how can you harvest there?  What people, organization, or country has God placed on your heart to reach?

I hope to encourage you to go where ever that is, to use all you have, and to seek Him first in all you do.  There is nothing better than being in the center of His will, and I can’t wait to move forward in pursuing more of Him, praying for His kingdom to be furthered here on earth, and to do my part however He is calling me.  “Turn your attention outward.  See this world through His eyes, with the love He has for His creation.  See His grief for the bruised and scarred state we’re in.  And pray.”

When Saying Goodbye

I didn’t cry until we were listening to a concert put on for us by the kids at the orphanage and the leader stood up and spoke.  He said they were blessed by our presence and love for the orphanage, how much God has done, and they’d be praying we get home safely.  Holding on to my little girls, I looked over at someone on my team and through tears she was saying, “I don’t want to leave.  This is home right here.”  Through teary eyes now I said, “Me too.”

I’ve found a home and family here, and it only gets bigger and closer every time.  The worst thing is hearing the orphans say “Goodbye” and holding the hand of a little girl who doesn’t want to let go and has probably found her own home in you too.

When it comes to Haiti and the word “goodbye,” they just don’t go well together for me. It’s enough to keep breaking my heart over and over.  I’m so thankful to God that He brought me to this place, has been with me each time, and is my rock when saying goodbye is too hard to face.

You know a part of me didn’t feel ready to come to Haiti yet…because the goodbye is almost unbearably painful when I leave.  But God knew what He was doing when He gave me the opportunity, this special team, and each day planned out for us with amazing things and amazing people.  God knew when I came that the difficulty in saying goodbye would lead to a forever hello.  And I really can’t wait for that chapter.  It may just be my favorite hello yet.

Where My Heart Runs

I’ve got my backseat in the tap-tap and I’m just so at peace here that this is where my heart and God meet in the center.  This is where I’m supposed to be. 

Years ago I never would’ve imagined this is where I’d want to be, but now I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.  My mind can’t fathom at times when I see the “mess” on the streets, the traffic with all its noises, and the diversity, why I love it so much.  Cooking in the kitchen at the orphanage yesterday in the heat of 100 degrees, mixing the rice with my hands, and making a stove top with hot coals, made me realize how normal this cooking process is for a Haitian.  I was honored to be a part of it and really experience serving with a Haitian like a Haitian.  I took a picture of the kitchen and my feet on the floor and when I looked back at the pictures it was as if I could see the picture through the eyes of the old, so American Becca.  I was like, “Wow, do I really want to choose to live my life like this?”  Now I take a moment and look to my right of this bumpy tap-tap ride and see the mountains and the corn fields as we enter the countryside, and I smile.  Yes, I want this life.  Even with the sight of fishy eyes in a bowl in the kitchen, bug bites, humidity and all.  I wouldn’t hesitate to choose to be here than anywhere else. Haiti is such a special place and in a very weird way, I feel like I fit in perfectly. 

Some hearts run to comfortable living, to inner-city ministry, to school buildings in the suburbs, to serve America in military services, or to lead a church; but my heart runs to the third world country of Haiti.  I’m not better or worse than you because I’m here, as long as you and I are in the center of God’s will and our life purpose is to lift Him higher than ourselves… than I say go where ever that is and don’t let anything hold you back in abandoning self and following Him all the way.  I believe how full my heart is when I’m here is something you’ll experience when you go where he’s asking you to go too.

Xo Becca

Can Things Get Any Better Than This?

“It’s when you’re giving and serving that you become full of joy without even knowing it.” –Me

That’s how I feel right now.  I find myself unable to stop smiling most of the time and then wonder why my face hurts so much afterwards.  I’m lying on my bed this afternoon to write and I feel so content and so refreshed.  Getting up this morning I could hear people singing not too far away, at a church that started at 6am (Sometimes they’re still going at 12 noon!  This doesn’t surprise me because Friday night they were worshiping at 3am!!) And it was so beautiful.  Cece said they were singing about victory in Jesus.  As I was getting ready, I sung with them in my heart.

We were off to church at 8:30am with some special surprises from some friends we were all so happy to see again!  We continued on celebrating life in Haiti at the church from 9-11:30 with the anniversary of their women’s choir.  This morning was full of worshiping God with songs like “Count Your Blessings” and “Crown Him Lord of All.”  The church was so full today and I loved the moment to sing with the Haitians to our Savior Jesus.  I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t very long and very hot, but it was an honor to be welcomed to be a part of it.  I made some friends with some younger girls who kept looking back at me throughout the service, and shook a lot of hands and learned new names.  It is such a joy!!!

We were reading Psalm 135 today which says (verse 1-3), “Praise the Lord! Praise the name of the Lord, give praise O servants of the Lord, who stand in the house of the Lord, in the courts of the house of our God! Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good; sing to his name, for it is pleasant!”  The Haitians today have been such a doer of those words.  They may only know a place like Haiti, they may not have big Sunday lunches, and live in places as small as our living rooms, but they keep praising God!  I’m beginning to forget any comforts and really hate the fact that in America we are constantly entertained because as I look out my bedroom window to see the mountains and natural beauty of Haiti, hear people singing to Jesus, and closing my eyes and seeing the smiles on the faces of the kids picking out a treat and eating a nice meal, and it makes my heart overflow with thankfulness. 

The words “this is enough” cross my mind as I think about Haiti.  Being able to bring food and love to orphans, sit through a church service with mosquito bites and insane humidity to sing songs of praise and thanks to Jesus with my Haitian family in Christ, and spend my free time with my Bible overlooking the streets and listening to the noise of cars, leaves me content.  Sometimes all we ever need is to surrender ourselves to the will of God, lay down our dreams and our plans for His, and He promises to give you all you need.  And if you wait patiently on Him, will give you an even grander story than you could have made on your own. 

……Now I’m writing a part 2 to this day!  I thought I was finished but then we went to our friend’s church where his dad is the pastor in a part of Haiti I’ve never been.  I wasn’t expecting to see the poverty I did see and what we drove through will be images forever left on my heart.  I especially didn’t know that our friend lived among this ever since the earthquake. 

When we arrived at the church in this little village, I asked him, “This is where you live?”  My mind just couldn’t fathom living among this.  We were able to walk over to his house and inside none of us expected that they had been expecting us.  Once we met his family, they prayed for us, bought a cake and drinks!  If all of us weren’t crying, we were all moved in our hearts.  I’d never been in a house like that in Haiti.  The walls were made of wood, the roof was tin, and sheets hung to separate the rooms.  I wanted to cry because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  But you know what?  That house was full of love.  Full of love and full of Jesus. 

Church couldn’t have made me happier tonight either.  There was lots of singing from younger girls, a father, and even a girl on my team and I sung “How Great Is Our God.”  It was most definitely fitting.  I had a little boy on my lap for some of the time, a little boy poking me from behind, bracelets to hand out, and I even watched this little boy covered in dust, dancing right outside the church to the song we were singing. 

To close, our ride home was breathtaking.  A little lightening, the arrival of the president accompanied by sirens, and mountains on both sides of me lit up completely.  I’m in love with Haiti and it’s as if I can’t imagine things getting any better than this. 

How Great is Our God?

I feel at a loss for words to write this blog because my heart is so full. 

Not too long ago, someone (no name for the blog) came into the room with the joy in her heart radiating from the inside out.  She was asking us if we could hear Stanley singing and playing his new guitar we brought him (a child from the orphanage staying with us this week).  She says, “Isn’t this wonderful? I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven!” 

Although she was the one to vocally say it, I think that we all feel the same way.  At the orphanage today I was left alone for a few moments with all of the kids who were sitting around the table waiting for lunch (peanut butter & jelly sandwiches) and looking at each of their sweet and innocent faces, I started to question, “Is this real?  Am I really in Haiti again?”  I feel like the reason we have to “pinch ourselves” from time to time is because nothing’s ever felt so right.  Seeing their faces over snacks all throughout the day, as they lit up as we all witnessed what must have felt like Christmas to them, and laughed with them over the sweet child-like things they do, I could sense nothing more from God that this is what I want to do forever.  And I know if I don’t even have to question it, than it must be true. 

I wish you could have seen what we witnessed today.  After sandwiches and cookies, we moved into another room where we brought in all the chairs for them and they sat around receiving gifts as if it were Christmas morning!  New shoes, headbands, brushes, toothpaste, notebooks, and new shirts for the kids.  There was a little boy sitting on my lap and I watched his face light up when he put a new pair of shoes on.  I watched a girl next to me take out new brushes out of her bag of gifts, see them all laughing and eating their lollipops too.  Then a pastor here spoke to them about getting an occupation when they grow up and shared the news he would visit every week to give them sewing lessons.  He asked who was interested in learning, and almost all of them were!  A woman on our team read from the Bible and spoke to the kids from John 14 saying, “You are no longer orphans.  But you are children of God.”  Many of you have not had the chance to meet them, but when I hold them, when I see them smile, and look into their eyes, I know God doesn’t look at them as just another child; they are special because they are His.  I feel so privileged to be with my little brothers and sisters in Christ. 

The kids were a little shy with me at first, but once I took out my camera and joined them in reading letters from the kids back in America, I found a special bond with them.  This little girl was sitting on the top bunk and I was standing in front of her and within seconds her arms were wrapped around me and she held on for a while.  Most of the day there I spent in the girls room reading letters, letting them play with the camera, handing out snacks, laughing, and giving piggy back rides. 

Our God is great and He loves His children.  He delights in giving His children good gifts and answering their prayer.  I think sometimes we think otherwise because maybe He doesn’t answer prayer the way we think is best.  I overheard someone on my team talking to one of the Haitians saying, “Faith grows in the trying times.  Sometimes when things are hard, that’s when we grow most.  And I don’t know about you, but I want my faith to grow; I want to be changing!”  I don’t know where you are in your life, but I encourage you to stop and pause.  Reflect on the blessings God has given you; thank Him that He is with you right now.  Thank Him for the life He’s given you and ask Him how He can be lifted up higher through this.  It’s all about Him and He is so great.  I’ve heard so much about how Jesus has answered prayers, we’ve seen the encouragement of progress in Haiti first-hand, and I was asked to pray before handing out sandwiches, that God would multiply the food because we weren’t sure we had enough.  Minutes later, we found extra sandwiches!  Later at our compound, one of the guys was borrowing a mirror because there wasn’t one on the wall.  He comes back and said, “There’s a mirror there now…it’s like it just appeared!”  During worship tonight we were singing, “How Great is Our God” and as we moved on to other songs, someone came out and said, “Can we sing How Great is Our God?”  We said she’d already missed us singing it, but we’d sing it again.  I think it’s all God and most definitely in my life, I see how He wants me to see how great He really is.  I’m in awe, I’m refreshed, and so in love and at home here with my great God. 

It’s Called Haiti

It’s been too long since I’ve been back in a tap-tap.

Once we could begin to see Haiti from the plane and we landed, all seven of us veteran Haiti travelers looked at each other and no one could take the smile off of any of our faces.  In our own special way, Haiti is like home to all of us.

The mountains looked grander, the progress we saw in the airport was so encouraging, the sun seemed to make Haiti look brighter, and for the first time, I honestly didn’t even go through a culture shock.  There’s something about Haiti now that makes me feel more alive.  That’s the only way to describe this feeling.  You know how you feel when you see someone you love so much?  And for you summer-beachin’ lovers, you know the feeling of satisfaction when you’re away from everything else and you hear the sound of the waves and feel the sun blanketing your skin?  Driving through Haiti back in the tap-tap, I felt like it’d been forever; yet it was as if it was just yesterday.  I love it here.  And I know it’s all God’s doing that I even feel this way.

We pulled up to our new home for the week, which will be a new experience for all of us.  It’s a little more rustic, but it’s beautiful even though we have unreliable electricity and the walls and doors look more rugged than our usual compound stay.  Our hosts are so kind and before our lunch she prayed, “Thank you Jesus that we are alive and that we have abundant life.  Thank you that we have food to eat and a place to live.”  Haitians (no surprise) have a way of making you feel incredibly humbled every time in a new way.  It’s so easy to forget what really matters, to remember that we already have enough, and to trust that God has our lives held in His hands.  If you’re anything like me, why don’t you join me in just surrendering everything you’re stressed about, all your minds consumed with, and what you’re fearful of, and just lay it down at Jesus’ feet and thank Him for what we do have.

Today in Haiti I could have noticed more of the devastation, the shoeless feet, and broken homes.  But instead, it’s like you can see God shining through the little things and through their still smiling faces despite what they are going through.  One of our old friends Quarters for Haiti helped in going to medical school said, “I am in school, I am doing well.  God is good.”

I need to smile more and worry less; I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus instead of looking away and drowning in the circumstance.  And instead of believing I won’t find the answers and solutions for what I think I need, I need to thank God more for how He’s already blessed me.

It’s been one welcoming and refreshing day filled with hugs from old and new friends, words of worship sung throughout our home we are in this week, a plate full of rice and beans (so delicious, I can’t even stand it), and hearts all connected in different ways to this amazing country called Haiti.

Let’s Go

I can’t not write something right now.  I could just write in my journal; but I’d rather share my words with you too.  God is just stirring inside of me this unexplainable feeling inside of my heart that makes me feel like if I started running, I wouldn’t stop.

We need Jesus so much and we know it, but sometimes it just hits you and everything else in this world fades away because nothing can measure up to the greatness of our God and the way He can satisfy our life, and love us like no one is this world.  I find myself closing my eyes and singing, “Be lifted higher than all You’ve overcome, Your name be louder than any other song, There is no power that can come against your love, The cross was enough.”  Isn’t it?  For one of the first times singing this song I’ve sung so many times before, I was overcome with emotion because God’s love was overwhelming me with the truth of the words I was singing.  I opened my eyes and instantly forgot I was singing before the church…but it’s mostly because I truly am singing for God.  He deserves all my praise, and all my life.  He’s changed me and I am nothing without Him.  We can’t save ourselves; only Jesus can save us.

Easter is just another moment, another day, to remember that He did just that and not only did He save us, but He gave us Himself.  When I say He gave us Himself I’m saying when you believe in Him, He enters into your life and He gives you a peace, a hope, and a home that nothing and no one else can give you like He can.

As Christians, Jesus gives us a purpose on this world.  Just like He didn’t come to this world by “chance” or for himself, neither are we here by chance or to do as we please or think is best. He came to rescue us and give this world the only thing we truly need.  And that’s Jesus; Himself.

I hear God beckoning me to live my life in a way that reflects Him more, and less me. I hear Him reminding me that this world needs Him.  The orphans need to know they have a hope, a home, and a father in Jesus.  The people in our lives who have hurt us need to know we forgive them, because God has forgiven us.  Those struggling with sickness need to know that they don’t have to always know this pain and there is healing whether here or in heaven.  The girl who doesn’t know why she has the circumstances she has, whether it be a body she doesn’t like, the pressure and expectations of others, or feeling constantly let down; needs to hear that she is wonderfully made and she has a choice, an opportunity, to use her circumstances to shine the light of Jesus.

God can use you.  Whatever the circumstance, where ever you are, however old you are, whatever your job, whatever your limitations are.  The light of Jesus, this light inside of us; the darkness can not contain and this world can’t take away or overcome.

God is pressing on me to go and find the lost for Him.  We have a purpose and we have a mission.  Don’t waste your time living on this world for you, when we were made for Him. We were made to shine for the glory of Jesus…not for the glory of ourselves.

My name might be Becca, but I don’t want to go each day hoping that people will remember me.  I don’t want them to see me, I want them to see Jesus and I want them to know Him.  Because He is all that matters and I’m so thankful, so blessed beyond words to have Jesus in my life and I want those who don’t know Him to know Him too.  And that’s what Jesus wants, that’s why He came.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:19-20

I hear Jesus speaking this to my heart, breaking through all of “me” that stands in the way and reminding me in such a powerful way, that I am to go and find the lost for Him and follow His path for my life, and not the path I have planned for myself or the kind of path that meet the standards and expectations of the world I live in.

 

Cheering you on to go where ever God is calling you,

Becca

Even Through the Wind

What’s something strong, that can come un-expectantly, that you can only feel, but never truly see?  The wind.  Now that my runs are starting to move again off the treadmill and back outside, I’ve been finding my runs a little bit harder.  Last week, I was back at my favorite “track” and it only took a few minutes until I was saying to my brother, “This wind is a killer!”

How often in life, do we find ourselves going about our day, our schedules and activities, just to be hit by something that either makes everything a little bit harder and the days a little bit longer, or completely throws us off and brings us down?

Outside of pushing through the wind in a run or coming across a hard HIIT workout, there’s been multiple times in my life when it seemed like everything in my life was going as it should…and then something happened.  Whether it was a lost passport, an unexpected phone call, silence that cuts to the core, or something I supposed to be an blessing turns out to be a disappointment.  While at the time the “wind” hits, is when it’s the hardest.  There’s nothing you can do to change the circumstance.  I couldn’t magically make my passport appear, rewind time and keep the phone call from happening, or go back and decide not to embrace the “blessing” so  I wouldn’t have to go through the disappointment.  So what could I do?

What do you do when the wind hits you?  You keep running.  

Because we not only “rejoice in hope of the glory of God, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:2-5, emphasis added)

Not only did I keep running, but after I stated the wind was a “killer”, I switched it around and said, “No, this wind is a refiner.”  And do you know what a refiner is?  A refiner is something that reduces to a pure state.  In other words, it purifies.  And to be pure means you’re free from the “dust, dirt, or taint.”  You see, pushing myself to keep running despite the wind, only made me stronger.  It might have seemed harder at the time, but I still completed the run and I felt better than when I started.

The truth is, we may be “afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) Even though each of these unexpected phone calls, symptoms, bills, or the dead-end on the map you planned out for your life is out of your control…you can still choose to run.

I’ve learned to embrace the windy weather when it comes because I know what it produces.  What I’ve experienced in my almost twenty years, and with the windy weather that will still be ahead, I can say I feel immensely blessed.  Without it, I wouldn’t have experienced the closeness, the peace, and the never-ending love of God like I have.  You never know what looks so hard now, might look like once you keep running and make it around the corner.  God’s a smart God.  He knows much better than you and I do.  Fortunately, He’s also a loving and forgiving God.  And our God will be with you and be your strength when you have none, and He will use the wind to refine you, not kill you.  He will take these circumstances that once discouraged us, and use them for something greater, and more beautiful, than we could have imagined.  That’s how I feel as I look forward.

 

 

It’s helped me even prepare to tackle another run in the wind.

Living Out a Mission

There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about Haiti.  Every single day, almost every single hour.  Since coming back in November from my last Haiti trip, I haven’t been the same and each month this burden and dream to live and serve in Haiti increases.

It’s as if I’ve slowly been losing myself in this whole process.  And losing on it’s own, something or someone, is never an easy thing.  My comforts are being stripped from me, and my faith is being tested in a way that leaves me feeling extremely humbled.  But it’s because there’s this burning fire in my heart that grows everyday in a way I can’t ignore, and it’s what’s leading me to this place.  But it is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.  Suddenly life feels so much more full when God’s dreams are taking up that place in your heart that was once filled with your own dreams.  You realize when you give up the comforts of this world, you find yourself wrapped up in the Comforter Himself.  And you’re faith is testing you, but strengthening you and for something beyond what we can only imagine.  I’ve never felt more alive in losing myself.  It’s proving true; “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

God used Haiti to wake me up to the reality of what’s needed to take place in my life.  God used each tap-tap ride in Haiti to show me how much adventure I have in me that was made for more than the pot hole drives in little Rhody.  He used something as small as giving away my shoes, watching the joy of the Haitian kids playing soccer or watching them watch the Jungle Book for the first time, awaken me to how much I care less about myself.  God used little Fadja to open up my heart to the beauty of redemption in adoption.  He used her eyes to open up mine to the incredible need of rescuers to rise up.  Everyday I think about this little girl and the hold she has on my heart, and she’s the reason I don’t go a day without praying God has little girls and boys out there that I can take in my arms and tell them how special, how loved, and how wanted they are by God and me.  This is huge because I’ve never been eager to be a mom, but when I see these orphans and think about them, it changes everything for me and it’s changed my everyday life.

This calling to serve in Haiti is leading me to better learn the language, to save up all my money to eventually build a foundation to use to live and give there, and to learn the guitar so I can lead worship.  Even for Lent, I wanted to give up one of my comforts (God sacrificed so much for me, so I can sacrifice one of my comforts for forty days).  You’ll find me sleeping on the floor with a pillow and a few blankets and it’s honestly still something luxurious compared to the dirt, small corners, concrete, and thin mattresses some of the Haitians have every night.

1 Corinthians 3:8-9 says, “The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.  For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”  We are God’s hands and feet.  And we are together the body of Christ.  Although my feet might be on the Haiti grounds or my arms are wrapped around that little orphan, it’s only possible through God and His people.  You are such an important part, both in prayers and financial support!  If you would like to pray for me, please pray for peace, a focused heart and mind, and direction…both for this upcoming trip, and the future I believe God’s leading me to in Haiti.  And if you’d like to contribute and be a part of getting me there in that way, I appreciate it more than you know.

I would also ask that I could do something for you.  Yes, God is calling me to serve in Haiti, but God is also calling me to serve here and “to wash my neighbors feet.”  I honestly would be more than happy to serve you, help you, and pray for you in any ways that I may.  It is no obligation, but a joy to serve.  That’s what I’m here on this world, living and breathing to do and I’m happy to do it!

I don’t know how each step will unfold, but I know God knows and He will pave the way.  He is my constant, my steady hope, and He’s becoming my all in all.  I feel like a completely different person at times, like I don’t fit in; but there’s this peace in my heart that

has been unwavering and I know without a doubt, this is what God wants me to do.

I’m on a mission, and I’m not backing down.  I can’t ignore the orphans cries and their defenselessness, the poverty, and this burden and dream on my heart, having nothing to do with myself, but only about God and His children.

Just writing about this I feel like I’m in a different world, and it’s the world where I can hear their heartbeats still beating for hope.  I can’t rescue them all and certainly not in my own strength; but I can still be a glimpse, and ad midst the darkness, my light might shine brighter than I even know.

(if you’d like to get in contact with me you can email me at beccaed6@gmail.com)